The centrality of the feminine aspect in developing, actualising and perfecting creation is evident even in the opening passages of the Torah. The Hebrew language abounds with hints as to the importance of the feminine. The word for Creation (briyah) is its self in the feminine tense. Torah and Shechina (G-d’s indwelling presence) are both feminine. All of the items of service in the Holy Temple are either feminine forms or become feminine in their plural (shulchan/shulchanot, aron/aronot). As a part of the manifestation of the feminine in creation, we are required for our own development to explore what HaShem is telling us about the feminine. We are talking a bit one sided. examining mainly the feminine. But, after all that is our side to fulfill.

The Jewish People have been assigned a unique role in moving all of Creation towards spiritual perfection. We are told that we are to be a Kingdom of Priest, a Holy Nation and a Light to the Nations. We are to be a living bridge, bringing holiness into the created world. This role requires the healthy and active participation of its women. Much of the work of perfection hinges upon the interplay and joining of the male and female aspects. The giving of Torah to the Jewish Nation is likened to a wedding. King Solomon’s Song of Songs celebrates the relationship between G-d and the Jewish people through the metaphor of a pair of young lovers. On a practical level, Moshe Rabbeinu was instructed to offer the Torah first to the women and only afterwards to the men. The Sages teach us that we were redeemed from Egypt on the merit of the women. In the dessert, the women remained firm in their faith and did not participate in the sin of the Golden Calf or the sin of the spies. So great was their contribution that priest entering the Temple for holy service washed their hands and feet for purification from a basin made of the mirrors of the women who came out of Egypt.

So here we are ladies. We are feeling, developed human beings. We are well educated and well read. We are up on tai chi, yoga and pollution hazards. We are hormone enhanced, liposuctioned, aromatherapised, collagen creamed and waxed. We can discuss with reasonable knowledge at least three kinds of water filtration systems and the root causes of famine in Africa. We make sure that our children have the right education, social outlets, self “space” and “quality time”. We can entertain our interesting variety of friends with everything from fireside tea and scones to a Hawaiian luau. We are self-actualised and centred. We “work on” our open communication skills and “enhance and enrich” our relationship with our spouse even though we know he’s from another planet. We have clear career tracks and develop our work skills in order to progress and contribute to society. We are spiritual beings, concerned with the well being of the World, justice for all people and societal improvement. We contribute our time and resources to community and religious organizations. We strive to be sterling examples. We are concerned givers, contributors to progress.

And, we are exhausted, fearful and plagued with low self-esteem. We are treated for stress related gastric disorders, heart problems, carpal tunnel, chronic fatigue syndrome, PMS and fibromyalgia. We have trouble finding quality relationships and overcoming men’s “commitment disorders”. Once committed, well over half of our marriages end in divorce. Of those in marriages, over 80% report they are not really happy. We hotly pursue our careers but few women report high job satisfaction. Many of us still live in poverty and even more in serious debt. Our generation’s children are described as “emotional orphans” and “latchkey kids”. They are treated for hyperactivity, ADD, behavioural disorders, drug abuse and AIDS. A rising amount of us are mourning the victims of child suicide. Even thought these issues are far less in the observant Jewish community, their nibbles are felt on the edge of the life fabric. Very seldom do we, or our friends, feel really free or laugh from deep inside. We are often lonely and plagued with floating guilt and anticipatory anxiety.

It is a woman’s nature to really want to be and do good, to see our loved ones happy and to build something of quality with our lives. We want to be successful in our universal and personal areas of endeavour. Many of us feel frustrated in our efforts and a bit sad. At times, we feel like failures. When we look around, we often feel that somewhere we, or the world, are off the track. In order to get ON the track to meet our potential, we need to have a clear idea of where we are supposed to be going. What is the measure of success for a woman? What are we really supposed to accomplish? None of us would be so foolish as to take on a major job or work assignment with no idea of what we are supposed to be doing. Yet, in many ways, we go along doing exactly that. If we bought a delicate and expensive piece of equipment, we would surely read the manufacturer’s instructions on how to put it together, service required and so on. As G-d created us, we need to turn to the Manufacturers instructions to fully realize our job as a woman, to locate and understand our “job description” for our time on this Planet. Let’s take a closer look at what the Torah tells us about ourselves.

The Torah first introduces humankind on the sixth day of creation in Genesis 1:27, “So G-d created the man (Adam) in his own image, in the image of G-d He created him, male and female He created them.” The major commentators explain that Adam was originally created as a hermaphrodite with the male and female aspects not separated. Adam was therefore an “oneness” which is one of the aspects of “the image of G-d” who is the ultimate concept of oneness.

We have said that HaShem is the ultimate of good (tov). As the unchanging source of all things, He is also indivisible and complete in and of Himself. We use these words to describe things in a way that we can understand; however the completeness of HaShem is something beyond our comprehension. In striving to understand the spiritual, we use the only labels we have. We use “Him” to refer to HaShem,, even though the Creator is beyond gender. We only understand complete by comparison to incomplete or missing something and these concepts cannot be applied to HaShem. We see in the Torah that Tov is used to describe completeness and harmony. Following each of the phases of creation we are told, “And G-d saw that it was good (Tov)”, that is, in harmony with G-d’s will, receiving sustenance from HaShem’s holiness and fulfilling its function in creation.

In only two places in the five books of the Torah, is the term “lo tov” – not good – used. As every letter of the Torah is significant, these are special opportunities to learn. In other places, the word “bad” – rah , “bitter” – mar -, or a host of other words are used to describe something undesirable. Therefore, the specific use of the term lo tov shows us that what is under discussion is the opposite of tov – it is incomplete, not fully in harmony with HaShem’s will and purpose for creation. Where does the Torah first tell us that it is “lo tov”? “And the L-rd G-d said, it is not good (lo tov) that the man (Adam) be alone” Genesis 11:18.

The Torah tells us that since the dawn of humankind, the externalised relationship between male and female is crucial to the continuing development of creation and is tov – good. We also see that improper or missing male/female interaction is the essence of lo tov and as such is non-productive and destructive. HaShem’s purpose for creation could not be fulfilled by Adam as a hermaphrodite. The Maharal in his commentary on Genesis stats that it is not only a matter of physical reproduction as the original hermaphroditic Adam was capable of self-reproduction.

The Torah in Genesis 2:7 tells us “And the L-rd G-d formed Adam of the dust of the earth, and breathed (yipach) into his nostrils the breath of life (neshmat chaiim)”; and he became a living soul (nefesh chi)”. All other things in creation were brought about through HaShem’s “speech” – “And G-d said – Let there be light….”, etc. The creation of Adam’s body was brought about by HaShem’s “hands” (Maharal, Bereshit) By utilizing unique forms of creation for mankind’s physical self, HaShem shows it’s importance and spiritual potential.

The Torah also tells us that HaShem instilled in Adam the three levels of the complete human soul, which are directly connected to HaShem the Ruach, Nefesh and Neshamah. The Ruach/spirit or “breath” of HaShem is the spiritual life force that enables the physically created to exist through connection to the Creator. The Neshamah is the vital two-way channel for this energy, allowing its full actualisation in the physical. Neshamah is related to the Hebrew word “noshem”, the process of breathing, a two way process clearly seen in the rise and fall of the chest. The Nefesh is the indwelling, animating spirit of life, related to the Hebrew word “nafash”, to rest. Ruach and Nefesh are masculine words in Hebrew and relate to the channelling portion. The Neshamah is a feminine Hebrew word, related to spirit and potential development through the mental and emotional processes. The example most frequently given is that of a glassblower, whose breath travels from inside himself, through the pipe and “rests” in the vessel being constructed.

Adam was the archetype “living soul” (nefesh chai). As such, he was capable of recognizing the essence of other living beings. HaShem brought all of the animals to Adam for naming, according to their essence. These animals appeared in pairs and were given names according to their different characteristics. Often, the male and female received different names in accordance with their dissimilar natures – for example tayash, a male goat and ez a female goat. Adam was allowed to observe the male and female of each species interacting – playing, communicating, having physical relations. The Torah then tells us, “But for Adam there was not found a helper (ezer knegdo) to match him”. He was allowed, in his state of ultimate self-containment, to feel his ultimate aloneness.

We are then told in Genesis 2:22, “And the L-rd G-d caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam and he slept…” Rebbe Nachman of Breslov explains in Lukutey Moharan that sleep is symbolic of constricted spiritual consciousness. It is characterized by the Gemarah as 1/60th of death, a time when the higher soul goes back up to her source. We are also told that a person may be spiritually asleep, even for a whole lifetime. Rebbe Nachman stressed that one of our main tasks in this world is to wake up spiritually. Following Adam’s realization that he had no externalised helper in his life work, his ability to be conscious of his purpose in creation was reduced and he slept.

Again, in the entire five books of the Torah, the word Ezer (helper) and Knegdo (opposite him), are only found twice. Both places describe the “cure” for Adam. “And the L-rd G-d said, it is not good (lo tov) that the man (Adam) be alone; I will make him a help to match him (ezer knegdo)”, Genesis 1:18, and, “But for Adam there was not found a help to match him (ezer knegdo)”, Genesis 2:20. Herein, we have a central piece of the job description for women in creation.

Ezer (help/helper) is a dynamic process of enabling the man to achieve his purpose in creation and thereby fulfilling her own spiritual purpose. It is being the essence of what a man needs, not necessarily wants but needs. The concept of Ezer is on such a high level that King David uses it to describe HaShem in Tehillim 12:1 when he cries out, “I will lift up my eyes to the mountain, from whence shall my help (ezer) come?”. For someone to be a true help, they must have the help to give, they must be complete in their capabilities, be well-directed and have the tools for the job. Therefore, woman was created by HaShem in Gan Eden, whole and from human matter. She does not require circumcision to perfect her covenant with HaShem. She must, however, understand what needs to be accomplished in order to provide the proper things at the proper time.

The Torah tells us that a woman should be different from and opposite (knegdo) to man. She is to maintain, respect and develop her unique femininity in order to carry out her job. Jewish law requires that the uniqueness of the sexes be recognized, cherished and respected by both the man and the woman. Sfrono comments that different does not mean less. He stresses that man and woman are equal, as if balanced on either side of a scale. However, the Hebrew can also be read as “Ki negdo”, “as if opposite from him. This reminds us that this difference is only a manifestation of the created world, needed to complete our unique work here. At their spiritual source, the man and woman form a single unit. The joining of these two pieces of the whole is brought about through marriage and physical relations in accordance with Jewish Law, “…and a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh”, Genesis 2:24. The Hebrew work translated as cleave is “davak”, which literally means “to stick to” as in the Hebrew word for glue – devek.

The creation of Adam and his help Chavah through this process of spiritual, physical and self revelation was necessary for them to become aware of and appreciate their differing roles in perfecting creation. To sustain and “repair” the world, interaction is required between men and women on both the spiritual and physical levels. Interaction must be designed to build by bringing down spiritual sustenance, blessing and good to the world. Relationships carried out in accordance with the Torah are designed to fulfil these functions. However, when male/female relationships are not properly functioning or are carried out against the positive spiritual directives given in the Torah, the spiritual channels of sustenance from the Creator to His created as damaged. A variety of ills then begin to manifest themselves in the World body. Today, evidence of these illnesses are everywhere. Medical science has reached a zenith in which things that were considered impossible only a few years back are routine today. However, people are physically weaker and suffer from more chronic complaints. Cancer, mutant virus strains, AIDS, heart disorders and so on…are out of control. It is interesting to note ant AIDS in Hebrew means witnesses. We are witnesses, through lack of bodily harmony caused by disease, to the lack of physical relations in holiness which maintains the world harmony. People eat themselves into obesity and abuse a variety of substances because inside they are hungry to the point of starvation for real sustenance. We are horrified as a simple cell, functioning in harmony with the whole, begins suddenly to divide and spread, poisoning the body with cancerous growth. We also see this phenomena in every area of life – from lack of regard for others feelings to world pollution.

The Torah also tells us that it is Lo Tov for us to work in the wrong role at the wrong time, regardless of our abilities. The Jewish People had just been redeemed from Egyptian bondage and were travelling to Mt. Sinai to receive the Torah. The redemption came about through the leadership of Moshe, who was personally called to the task by HaShem. He had been the vehicle for carrying out HaShem’s ten plagues in Egypt, which were miraculous beyond our ability to comprehend today. Moshe has the greatest degree of attachment and clear communication with the Creator possible for a human being. He is the only person who “spoke to HaShem face to face”. A few days before they arrived at Mt. Sinai, where Moshe would ascend the mountain for 40 days to communicate directly with G-d, he was visited by his father-in-law, Yitro. He observed Moshe surrounded by the people from morning to evening. He inquired to HaShem for the answers each needed prophetically. He also acted as a teacher, bringing to the people how they were supposed to behave in a variety of ways. He also sat as the community judge, resolving their interpersonal disputes. Yitro told Moshe, “The thing that you are doing is not good (lo tov). You will surely wear away (navol tivol), both you and this people that is with you. The thing is too heavy for you, you are not able to perform it yourself alone”. Yitro advised him to concentrate on his prophetic and teaching activities and to select capable men to serve as judges.

Certainly Yitror was not criticising Moshe’s ability to wear two job “hats” and multitask. He was surely able to work under pressure after surviving all of Pharoh’s palace intrigues, his flight from Egypt as an accused murderer, speaking directly to G-d, and serving as an instrument for miracles. His organizational skills and management techniques were proven through his directing about 2 million newly freed slaves, with very little provisions, in a dessert flight with the mightiest army in the world in pursuit. His physical stamina was not the question as several days later he was able to climb to the top of a craggy mountain and remain for 40 days, without food and water, suffering no ill effects afterwards. Yitro’s comments become understandable when viewed in the context of what is Lo Tov in relation to Adam.

In both places, we are told that it is not good (Lo Tov) for the man in question to be alone. Moshe was functioning in two very different capacities. As the prophet, he developed the new nation’s direct channel to the spiritual, revealing the commandments of the Creator and inquiring how the new people were to behave in a variety of unclear situations. He helped the people, individually and collectively, to build a close relationship with HaShem. He was also serving as a Judge, hearing and deciding the whole range of complaints between individuals. His time was used to the maximum. He was warned that both he and the people would wear away. He would eventually become less effective in all of his work if he tried to be all things to all people. The people, who had to stand and wait their turn, would eventually become frustrated and make less attempt to develop. This is hinted to in the words “wear out (navol tivol)”. Navol means wilting, loosing bloom. It is also related to navelah, an improperly slaughtered animal that must not be eaten. We learn that even if we are capable of being “Super” in a number of roles, we must prioritise and concentrate on the activities that fulfil our ultimate goal in life. If we fail to do this, we will personally suffer and the very work that we hope to accomplish will not come to fruition.

Men are required by Jewish law to be in a married state to achieve perfection, women are not. The Gemarah tells us that women were given a deeper level of understanding than men, “intuition” (Binah Yetirah) but also tells us that women can be caught up in daat kalah – settling for a light understanding because so much information comes easily and intuitively. It also tells us that 10 measures of speech came to the world and women took 9 – women have an innate ability to communicate but the back side is the ability to misuse speech, the unique heritage of human beings. Women are privileged to say the morning blessing “ShAsani KiRatono” – Thank You for making me completely according to your plan. Men have the lower blessing of “ShLo Asani Ishah” – That I wasn’t made a woman – signifying that he would not have to undergo the pain of pregnancy and childbirth. We have been created with many blessings and abilities. Our goal is to use them to elevate the world and those around us to “devekut” – ultimate connection to the Creative Source. A woman is called an “Ikeret Bayit”- the main point (ikar) of the household. Women are blessed with the true ability to be alchemist. We are the actualizers. In the crucible of our uterus, we receive a tiny bit of fluid and some undifferentiated cells. From that, we create another human being. We get a bag of groceries and we create birthday parties, Shabbat, Holidays, romantic moments, comfort and more. We are co-creators in this Universe. What we drill into the children’s heads from the moment of conception is generally the values that they will live by. The overt and covert communication we have with a spouse will in many ways define our relationship and him! We are very powerful. With power comes responsibility.

In these pages, we will explore our roles, goals, strengths and resources. We will look at ways to develop ourselves and those people and areas of the world that are in our care. We will support each other. We will learn to have fun. We will learn to appreciate. And, hopefully, we will be able to truly resonate with the worlds of an old American Indian prayer….”Make me every ready to come to you with a white heart, clean hands and straight eyes. So that when life fades as the red and purple sunset, I can come to You without shame”.